I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
