it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
bring money and cleavage
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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