Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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