Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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