Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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