Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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