my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
