Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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