so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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