Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
