he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize