Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize