Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Congratulations! We have a period
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
