turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
