My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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