you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
