sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
