Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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