Whats the glycemic index on semen?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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