So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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