How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
