I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
