dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
