I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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