it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You pole danced in your parka.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
