Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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