So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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