Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
