you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
