I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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