Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
