Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
