the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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