Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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