She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize