What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
