Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize