i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Randomize
