Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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