For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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