after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
