on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
