I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
