remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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