Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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