Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
