It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There r osticjed everywhere
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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