he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
