I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
