She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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