Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
