i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
