I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
