Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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