Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize