i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
