I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
