GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
